I can pretty much do what I want at home and there is no problem. I am not out doing bad things or anything, so don't worry; that's not where this is going. I love my cell phone in that I can call my parents spur of the moment and say I'm running out to do this or that with friends. I love my friends and their random calls. I hate that it seems to inconvenience everyone else or they want to try and keep tabs on me. I'm 20 for goodness sakes. I am very trustworthy and dependable. I know that a lot of this however is brought on by Steph- her not having a license, car, stuff like that, so they may need someone to shuttle her. Also, just the general parental worry. It bothers me. They have a right to know to an extent, but I'm 20; nearly 21.
If I want to go out after school with friends I don't want to call home and tell mommy and daddy where I'm going. I do; usually there is no problem, but they don't like this whole spur of the moment thing. Oh well, I don't care. I need the spontaneity to keep my sanity.
If I want to go out at 10:00p.m. on a school night to play video games with friends, let me do that. Don't give me an awkward stare and question whether it is too late. I think I'm over 18 and can be held accountable for my actions. I know if I go out late, I'll be paying the price for that in the morning and I'm fine with that. I understand 10p.m. sounds suspicious like I may be going out to meet a girl for you get the picture; but remember my friends are college students, they don't keep normal schedules unlike me. I am not going out and drinking at a frat party or something and meeting girls there. Cuz you know I'm a big partier afterall (sarcasm). Remember, my parents taught me well.
I have so much freedom, yet I feel bound. I am at the point where I don't care if I call or tell everyone where I'm going at a certain time. I do have a pretty calendar to begin with... things happen... stuff like that.
All of this does not change who I am. I'm still the responsible caring person; I know because I still live at home I have to deal with some of the worry etc. that comes with that. But I still maintain about a 3.7GPA every quarter, I take a full load of courses, I work part time, I do so much around the house (clean the bathroom weekly, my room, load the dishwasher daily, clean the hallway weekly, and so please don't give me the I'm not resposible excuse). Worry about my sister; the lazy twit who does nothing. NOT A DARN THING. She sits in her room all day reading, watching tv, and playing on the computer. I don't. I have a life. I have friends. I have high expectations for myself. As I said, high expectations... so don't worry about me messing up my life. Be releived knowing that I have a cell phone to call you if something were to happen. Be happy in knowing that there is a 99.9% chance nothing will happen. Be happy in the fact I am a good son and do all of this stuff. I don't want to be bound by a phone or calendar to call home, or that awkward stare about going out so late to mommy and daddy after a long day at work and/or school and say I'm going out to unwind with friends.
Here is a breakdown of my schedule this quarter:
- Intern 10 hours a week, 2 days a week
- Work 12 hours a week, 2 days a week
- Go to school about 10 hours a week, then add additional study time to that (so 15 or so)
- Sleep 35-40 hours a week
- some days I go to school and work, some days intern and work...
I'm busy and I need time to relax is my point.
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3 comments:
Damn, hon.
Sounds like the situation seriously inhales right now. And I know it's got to aggravate the hell out of you that Steph can pretty much do nothing, and that's acceptable.
Have you talked to the folks? Or is that door closed?
Hugs,
Crystal*
I have talked to the folks... that's why I do have the freedom to call etc. and tell them... but I bet you can see how it is awkward when I do say I'm going out at 10p.m. or when I'm inconveniencing them by going out randomly after school. I don't care so much about inconveniencing them- partly because I do so much, that I don't really feel bad about it.
But then I can't bring the word Steph up. Dad thinks Steph is perfect. Dad thinks Steph can do no wrong. Dad won't question how Steph. Steph is an angel. Yet, anytime I do something I am questioned etc. and told how bad I am for doing nothing andn stuff like that. You get the picture.
I should add in I used to cook dinner 2-3 times a week before I got this crappy schedule this quarter.
.
Forgot to add in mom is the clingy one and the worrier, hence all the problems with going out at 10p.m., me going out spontaneously. That's why on those things I call dad. But when it is 10p.m. and I want to go out, dad is asleep, so I have to go to mom.
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