Current grumbles

I loathe my sister. That's putting it nicely. The thing acts so immature. She doesn't think about others. She is so childish in comparison to me. I don't mean that in that she is playful. I mean she acts like a child. She is so hard to have a conversation with because she has no interests. I hate how the thing has to wake everyone up in the house at 5:30a.m. to announce she needs to get to the train station.

Moving on...

I am currently wondering about work...

I have had several job offers recently... to tutor at my mom's school... to sub in my mom's school district... to work at Kohls... to work as a bilingual aide. Kohls is crossed off the list since I don't want to work in retail. I don't want to tutor at my mom's school... though the pay might be better, I don't want to be permanently attached to my mom. I could be a bilingual aide, but that doesn't really interest me; although I could put my Spanish to good use. I did accept a position to sub in my mom's school district 2 days a week. That will give me time to make some extra money... about $150 more a week!!! I'll get to sub for my mom and her friends... good stuff. Plus, I will probably use some Spanish since her district is 98% hispanic.

I could sub more days and that is where the dilemma lies... do I want to continue tutoring at the high school...? I have been told many times "I'm doing a kick ass job and am so helpful." I definitely like the praise because, who doesn't like feeling like a god who can do no wrong? I just feel worn down there- not worn down in the sense that they're working me really hard. I just feel worn down in that every other person in the district got a 6% raise. The only people who didn't were tutors. Now EVERY person makes more in the district than tutors. The cafeteria ladies get $12 an hour. A tutor vs. cafeteria lady... both are important... don't get me wrong... but I feel academics is a little more important. I could apply for any other district job like cafeteria worker, campus supervisor, etc. and get more money. I love working with the kids- particularly high school level. I am giving 110% like I always do, but have never received a raise. I've seen in neighboring districts tutors are now getting $13-15 an hour... am I? No.

I made it a point at our meeting at work last week to say I wanted less duties. I said no to being a lead tutor because no extra pay was involved and I already did the duties of the lead tutor... they don't call me a god for nothing. So I was asked to do a lot of things and I said unless I'm getting paid more, no. The coordinator said she understands I'm busy and in my senior year, so said it was no big deal. However it is taking 3 people to pick up the tasks I used to do. So-be-it. I must sound greedy, but I feel like I can do less and get paid for it, why not?

I don't want to leave the high school I don't think because my best friends are my coworkers. I love them all to death. Love, love love. They're all great people and they care for the kids just as much as I do. They're my age and I need interaction with people my age. I also want money. I want to feel rewarded with money. I just don't know... I kind of want to stay at the high school because I'm comfortable- know all the teachers, students, etc. etc. It would probably make it easier if I tried to get a job there after I graduate.

I don't know if it is I'm afraid to try something new, step out of my comfort zone, fail, lose friends, lose connections, making less money, stuff like that. Maybe I need to explore this post some more when I have time to write about jobs I've considered applying for lately, etc. etc. Maybe get some support... ideas... feedback...

One thing I don't like about subbing is that I won't know a lot of people in the school I'm at and so it makes it harder to build relationships, connections, etc. etc.

I don't know... this post was kind of typed of fast and convoluded, but I wanted to flush out some ideas in my head.